To any and all lurkers who come here seeking anything Soundgarden related, and in light of the recent and tragic death of Chris Cornell: I created this forum a long time ago, before SG's reunion and in the absence of any real message board dedicated to the band. When they revealed the reunion and the website / forum, I decided that pursuing any such endeavor was counterproductive to the community of SG fans. But since that forum no longer exists, I'm just posting a few thoughts on the passing of a legend. No longer a living legend....
I was in KC for a soccer tournament this past weekend, Mother's Day. I was getting some stuff out of the car and I hear what I think is a live version of a Soundgarden song. It was loud, distant, and echoed through the soccer park. So I'm thinking, "What the hell, that's odd, someone playing such a Soundgarden song". But it only lasted for a brief moment. Then I thought, "Wait a minute, I'm gotta check their tour schedule". Sure enough, they were playing the Starlight Theatre later that evening just a short distance from my location, and what I heard was obviously a quick soundcheck. I was like "Wow what a coincidence, my all-time favorite band playing less than a mile away".
Unfortunately, I wasn't able to go Sunday night and haven't been following their spring tour with the exception of knowing they were playing Rocklahoma this year. I'm a huge fan, but money and family obligations keep me from attending concerts anymore.
I really don't know if I'm inclined to believe such things, but over the years I've had a lot of moments and events that seem too coincidental or too surreal to be completely random. I mean some really weird shit. Maybe it's nothing, but I feel like, in some cosmic way, I was allowed to hear Chris one last time that day. I really wish I could've made that concert.
I'm like a lot of Soundgarden and Chris Cornell fans right now. I can't process this information. I don't get too excited over celebrities, or indulge much in our society's practice of constant hero worship, but dammit, Chris Cornell meant something to me. His music, his struggles, his perspective on the world, and the apparent triumph he enjoyed with his new life. I haven't cried since my dad died 4 years ago, but I couldn't help it the past few days. I lost something very personal to me, a huge influence and a big part of my life. As remote as we are to some of these people, a special connection is made through the music. Chris was so likable. Handsome and intelligent, a gifted singer and songwriter. I feel terrible for his family, friends, Matt / Ben / Kim. Not only is Chris dead, but it seems that Soundgarden is DEAD.
It's such a sad ending to a remarkable life and career. I don't believe sober Chris would have entertained suicide. It'll probably go down as a suicide, but being so drugged up who knows where his mind was. Probably only a fragment of himself. Under those circumstances, it's impossible for me to say he wanted to kill himself. As more details come to light and the stories are told from those around him, I don't personally believe he was suicidal, but this is my opinion. He was taking a potentially dangerous drug with some serious side effects when taken at higher doses. Fucking prescription pills are a scourge on public health and somewhat alarming in how we treat patients for certain conditions. They are useful medications for some, but it's a fine line between helping a patient and failing a patient, IMO. Now we simply wait for the toxicology report.
This seriously doesn't feel real yet. He no longer walks the earth with us. And no longer will he be here to create his amazing art or live life in his own world. Chris is just a memory to be preserved, and that is something I'm having a difficult time imagining in this somber moment.
RIP, dear CC. Thank you for giving us your beautiful music and showing us the light of your life. Gone way too soon.